OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
