woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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