He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
