she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
