um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
