Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
