That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
