I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
