i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she looked like the before picture.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize