There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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