Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am one with the molecules
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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