were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
