nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dicks are not precious.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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