when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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