i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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