you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
