people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
