Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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