With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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