don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize