i love accidental penises.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
