YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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