idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
