I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize