The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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