the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
