whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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