She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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