what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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