drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
