You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
