I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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