We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
