found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
