mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
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I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
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We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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