I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize