matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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