Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
