Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
