I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize