Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
