it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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