Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
