Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
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I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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