What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
