found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
