Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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