Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
