I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
