I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
