ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
