I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
