Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
