i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
