You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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