I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
