found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
