I'm going to jail i love you
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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