The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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