i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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