Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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