I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?